Practicing thankfulness and gratitude are good for your body and mind research indicates. Conversely, harboring grudges, and traits of pessimism can be harmful. To date, my blog has focused almost exclusively on mindfully embracing the so called “dark” emotions. While this remains of critical importance, it is also imprortant to recognize the value of practicing the “light” emotions and actions such as compassion, thankfulness and gratitude. Our perceptual systems are largely geared to focus upon things that are “wrong”, “incomplete”, “defrective”, “broken”, “painful” and so on. That probably serves an adaptive function which has evolutionary significance. Those who have been subjected to traumatic conditioning and maltreatment during their formative years, will be more likely to engage in such processing and reactivity. Through mindfully embracing the fear, shame, anger, guilt etc., that result from such histories, we can be less likely to “act out” or “act in” the feelings and be free to make more adaptive adjustments to our environment. In fact, compassion, even toward our tormentors will, in time, likely develop.
Practicing Thankfulness
It is also important, even for those who have had it very hard in life, to mindfully practice thankfulness, compassion, and gratitude. One should avoid at all costs the temptation to fall into a “victims identity”. It can be very easy to succomb to the notion that one received a “raw deal” by life and that the universe owes them. Life is in fact not fair. Some people do have it much harder than others. What is critical, is to learn how to use one’s pain and misfortune as a potential vehicle for personal growth and redemption. That is the path of the “warrior”. In psychological circles, this is referred to as “transformational coping”.
So, while it is important to not stuff, repress or avoid one’s pain, it is also important to identify whatever there is to be thankful and grateful for.
I would even ask people to express gratitude for their pain. Ask yourself what beneficial lessons you couldn’t have learned where it not for your pain or difficulties.
Write down what other things in life you have been afforded; Your friends, health, family, pets, your country, your faith, neighbors, personal strengths. And little things that we often don’t take the time to recognize how life would be if they were absent: color, hot chocolate, flowers, rain, toes, baby smell (not the poop!) and so much more.
Learn to recognize that your present or past tormentors are acting out their pain. Perhaps you can offer a prayer that those people find peace from their pain.
Research indicates that such endeavors can possibly decrease blood pressure, improve blood sugars, improve immunity, decrease stress hormones (cortisol), increase beneficial neurotransmitters (seretonin, dopamine), and increase overall feelings of emotional well being.
So, we can all use this wonderful holiday of thanksgiving, to pause, and reflect upon what things in life are worthy of our gratitude. And if we can incorporate a little of that into each and every day, we as individuals, and perhaps collectively as a society will be enhanced.
Feel free to post comments on how you have found thankfulness or gratitude in the heart of pain and suffering?
And from all 0f us here at mindfullexposurebooks (me), HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
