Anger and Compassion 2

Anger and Compassion 2

The previous post presented a meditation on loving kindness to help practitioners establish a sense of bodhicitta as a “skillful means” for helping to deal with angry emotions. Perhaps some of you have at least attempted this exercise. If you have, then no doubt you have come to realize how difficult it is, especially when it comes to envisioning positive wishes for those whom may have hurt you or caused you pain in some manner. It is very important for you to realize that does not at all represent a failing on your part. It is, in fact, extremely difficult. The most important thing is that this exercise point out the obstacles and resistances we experience when we endeavor to allow ourselves to experie compassion and good things to occur to those whom we dislike or cause(d) us pain.

Don't be a "Scrooge" . practice mindfulness and compassion!

Don’t be a “Scrooge” . practice mindfulness and compassion!

Much of this resistance has to do with the simple fact that we still identify ourselves with the little “I'” as opposed to the infinitely larger cosmic “I”. If we had such a perspective then perhaps we could recognize that we are all manifestations of one thing and therefore to dislike any part of that would be to dislike the whole and therefore ourselves. From this more enlightened perspective, one would not regard the trees in the forest as separate from the forest. The forest can in a very real sense be seen as one entirety. All things are completely interdependent. However,  the vast majority of us (including of course me) are stuck in the narrow perspective of “me vs you” or as the timeless Pink Floyd song states..,.,.”Us and Them”. Though most of us do not posess this enlightened perspective, this practice is nonetheless important to help soften our hearts and to propel us along the way toward a more universal perspective.

However, even if we undertake this practice of practicing compassion towards those that harm us, it is important that we do not deny or delude ourselves regarding what we truly feel. If there is still anger, hurt, resentment or whatever feeling, regard this feeling with honesty, and open mindfulness. Do not engage in denial, avoidance or repression. Do not get into a control war with your feelings. Continue to mindfully label whatever feelings you experience as they arise. Do not do anything with them but simply watch with detached interest as they rise and fall of their own accord. Practicing this, will help us to regard our feelings with less reactivity. The tendency to “act out’ our feelings will diminish to the very extent that we stay mindfully focused upon them.

Both of these practices are very difficult and will take considereable time to develop. Often, we will find ourselves caught in a reactive cycle and will lash out angrily or inwardly fantasize or rehearse vengeful or hostile reactions. Whenever we can catch ourselves, even if it is after the fact, after our initial arousal has subsided to some degree, and we can mindfully view our feelings and extend compassionate thoughts toward our tormentor, then we will have greatly benefited. Gradually, our ability to stay mindful will increase and we will lose ourselves less frequently.

I am writing this post on Christmas day. Let us all reflect on the words of Jesus when he stated that his most essential message is to remind us to love our neighbor as we would ourselves (paraphrase).   As he was what I assume to be an enlightened Bodhisattva, then it is my guess that he is saying this in a very concrete and not a metaphorical sense. From this view then, our neighbor is, in fact, our self. Perhaps if we act that way, then perhaps one day we can come to feel it. Cognitive dissonance? Perhaps.

Merry Christmas to all from your Jewish-Buddhist friend:) After all, what was our religion before we were born?

Please feel free to post your comments!

 

 

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